Little House on Brush Prairie: Love is Love

June is the most popular month to get married. It's not our anniversary month, but there are always opportunities to reconsider how we treat one another, love one another, and support one another as we complete 1/3 of another year of marriage. (Our anniversary is in February.) I appreciate this periodic contemplation on marriage that makes me think twice about how I'm doing it and what I could do kinder, gentler, and more thoughtfully. Even if it's not your best, and you want to do it better: that's love.

This past weekend we witnessed our friends, Carron and Shelly, wed on the shores of the Columbia River on quaint Sauvie Island. Same-sex marriage is now legal in both Washington and Oregon and the day was perfect - blue skies, warm breeze, and a bright shining sun. They had waited 20 years for just this day. The affair itself was a quiet one with about 70 guests, but it wasn't quiet in the real sense of the word. It was a gathering of good friends (they're the friends we've had the longest here in the NW!) loving family, fantastic food (of course, Carron's a chef!), and warm conversation. Shelly even sung her vows as she strummed her guitar which stunned all of us since few of us even knew she played! Pouring out your heart to the sound of your own music in front of all of your friends and family: that's love.

The officiant, the brides' good friend, read some beautiful words on what it means to love. Two words have stayed with me: acceptance and appreciation. Those are important words, I think. No one is perfect, but even more, people change over time: likes turn to dislikes, the charming becomes annoying, and beauty fades. We're human. All the more reason to accept your love for who they are. Life brings change, but acceptance brings growth and growth is necessary for people and relationships.

Appreciation, I think, is a bit more tricky, but just as important because there are many ways to show it and it's the one thing that can erode over time. Living with and loving someone for many years can become more difficult when work, children, and life come between you and you're just trying to get through the day. It's not always easy to be there, say thank you, I love you, or remember his favorite cigar. I know that part can be hard for me, mostly because I am easily distracted and constantly booked, but it's not hard for JSM. In the words of Little Grandma (my grandmother) "you have to take time for love." He makes dinner when I've had a long day, I come home with Rainier cherries for him after a trip to one of my rural libraries. When you are like two ships passing in the night with lives full of meetings, dinners, and commitments, but he gets up at 7 am on a Saturday to cheer you on at the finish line of your first 5K: that's love.

June is now almost over, but acceptance and appreciation live on no matter what time of year.